I still remember the day vividly; I consider it a pivotal time of my life, it was the day that I fell in love with yoga. As someone who was never very athletic, never played on sports teams, my inactiveness made me feel like a weakling, on top of always being the shortest person in the room. When I found the practice of yoga, it shook awake a creative connection to my physical body, my emotional body, and my spiritual body, although it would take sometime before I truly realized this.
My realization of how important it is to move your body and cultivate a deeper bond to this vessel that willingly carries me occurred when I finally decided to take my yoga teacher training. This journey of uncovering a deeper awareness for my body actually began the day I went to my first yoga class in 2009, but when I finally did my yoga teacher training in 2013 this was when I truly felt like I was unlocking something sacred and beautiful. This amazing practice has taught me so much about my self, about kindness, about love, about understanding, about listening, and it continues to teach me every single day. When I finished my training I knew that I wanted to share this with everyone around me.
So far, and yes I know that I have only taken a few steps on this path, this has been an incredible journey and I have met some of the most amazing and inspiring people. Like any journey though, it is not without its challenges. Most challenges are like little bumps, the road gets rough with a few pot holes that you have to navigate around, but nothing that you feel you cannot overcome. But, what happens when you reach a wall?
I am sure you have experienced this too, you feel like you have made it so far along the path you have been travelling on only to look ahead to see a wall. When you look up further the wall is so tall that you think to yourself, ” There is no way I can climb that! Where am I suppose to go now? “. Recently, I found myself in front of a wall, one that was pretty tall, and definitely unclimbable. I was feeling particularly down on myself, I don’t doubt that part of it was the winter blahs, I noticed that I was doing the same thing every day and the motivation to create something or make something seemed like it vanished–kind of like the snow on the ground ( I live in Canada where there is suppose to be snow in winter!). The stagnation in my life made me start to think that , ” maybe I should quit and stop teaching yoga, maybe this isn’t what I am suppose to be doing”. Along with that came the long list of things that I knew I wasn’t doing that I’ve been procrastinating for months ( or longer)–one of them was a new blog post on my empty looking website.
I didn’t write up this post to announce that I have given up, and I certainly didn’t write this post to whine about how unmotivated I have been; quite the opposite actually. The first thing I did once I realized I was letting these thoughts get the best of me was take the time to acknowledge how I was feeling. I began to talk to friends. I reached out to friends and family, people I admire, to talk about ideas, to talk about what its like to feel lost, bored, unmotivated, to talk about dreams and goals. And it helped. It reminded me that this isn’t a lone journey, I have many people by my side, friends, family, strangers, acquaintances, people that inspire me. We are all in this together, it’s important to reach out, share your struggles because we have all been there at some point and needed help climbing out of the hole we may have dug for ourselves. It is important to realize that there is always another way, another route, it may have been hidden or covered but it is always there.
I decided to not give up, to not quit, because I love what I do, and I cannot give up on a journey that has only begun. I encourage you to do the same. Yes, it won’t be easy, but it is always worth it, there will always be someone or something that shows you a path you never knew existed. Face your fears, acknowledge how they make you feel, move forward, and don’t look back. You’ve got this, because we’ve got each other.
If you made it to the end of this post. I thank you for taking the time to read, I hope it has brought you some light to your day.
Love you always,
Hey Friends! After a little two week vacation visiting friends & family in Kenora, On, and Brandon, MB I’m back in London Ontario and ready for the next adventure! We all need a little escape from the bustle of our busy lives and to take time to reconnect with others and the abundant nature that surrounds us. Although it seemed a bit inconvenient and frustrating at times, being without internet and inconsistent cell phone service forced me to put down my phone and my laptop to disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with myself.
Looking back, I’m glad I had the opportunity to just sit back and relax and take in the fresh air, trees, lake views, and indulge in the beauty of life itself. Indulging can be challenging as a yogi, once you become attune to all the subtle and not so subtle shifts that can happen in your body and mind when you have too much of a thing ( i.e chocolate, beer, food, ). We can get it in our head that we are a bad yogi if we drink beer or eat bacon and eggs for breakfast( and yes I do these things). I think the worst thing you can do is make your self feel bad for the decisions you have made. You have to take full responsibility of your choices–and lets be real, no matter what you do or say, someone else may not agree with you. THAT IS OKAY!
If we strive for perfection we are just going to find ourselves feeling like we are never good enough. We have to remind ourselves that it is the little choices and decisions we make day to day that benefit everyone as a whole. Be the best possible version of yourself in this very moment and keep in mind that there will always be things that you can change and improve. Everything is constantly evolving, changing, and morphing into different things. I’ve spent way too much time ( and still do from time to time) comparing myself to others and wanting to be as good as so and so. Be yourself. Be your best self today, and remind yourself that every single day.
Take time away for you, for your soul, for your heart, for your mind. Whether its only 5 mins of meditation in the morning before work, or a weekend out of town, or an adventure to somewhere you’ve never been, it doesn’t matter. Just remove yourself from what was or what will be and just be present in the now. As Ram Dass would say, ” Be here now”.
These are a few reflections I had while I spent the past two weeks away. I feel alive, rejuvenated, and fresh with a brand new perspective. I’m ready to take on what ever comes my way.
When its blowing snow outside, and the temperatures are lingering at – 20c with windchill, like most people, staying indoors is usually the more favoured choice. I enjoy spending time at home to reflect, relax, learn, drink tea, and cuddle with my cat, Yuna.
Today I gazed out the window to see a curtain of white snow swirl about the sky. It made me think of home. I come from Kenora, Ontario, Canada a small town near the edges of the Ontario-Manitoba border. For most of my life, frigid long winters were pretty normal, with temperatures dropping to -30 ( not including windchill) quite regularly. Getting dressed meant bundling up in layers, breaking a sweat while getting ready, and waddling your way outdoors… atleast I imagine my younger self waddling with all that winter gear on. But, despite those long hard winters, there is a lot of beauty in that small town. These images I took a few years ago, but its nice to be reminded to cherish the beauty in the season, and the moments spent with friends, family, and pets.